Eve was Framed

Yes, THAT Eve

From what I’ve read and discussed with others about the whole, Eating the Apple of Knowledge myth, I have come to the conclusion that Adam and Eve were duped. That poor girl Eve has been taking the blame for something God manipulated her into doing for far too long.

The belief of an Omnipotent and Omniscient God is part of the foundation of Christian dogma

Supposedly this All-Knowing, All-Seeing, All-Powerful God created this nice little private garden called “Eden” back in the day. In this garden he placed an appletree.The fruits of this tree, if eatin would grant the one who ingests it the knowledge of “Good and Evil”

In this garden he also put the first Man and Woman, nekkie as jaybirds and dumb as hammers if the descriptions are to be believed. These two adorable, overgrown children were given one commandment, the tree was Not to be touched.

At some point this snake came along and started talking to Eve. Yes, I wondered too what kind of mushrooms she had for breakfast when I heard that but it seems this snake was actually the devil in disguise. Slippery Sam, just a nickname I’m not clear on whether he actually introduced himself or not, chatted Eve up a bit and suggested she try one of the “Forbidden” apples.

Well, Eve having no idea what Forbidden actually means or that to violate a command is “wrong” had a bite or two and suddenly her mind was filled with the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Which probably had her head spinning like a top considering it was probably the first time anything remotely resembling an independant thought ever passed through it. She got excited and had Adam try a bite. Adam was off somewhere at the time contemplating the existential reasoning of existence, or more likely playing with that dangly thing betwen his legs again and giggling like a two-year old.

Some would say this makes her a bitch for risking getting him in trouble too. Remember two things now, this is the girl that just got done having a two sided conversation with a snake that she had every reason to believe belonged there.
Whether it was a pre- or post-coital chat is never mentioned. Also, she only just Now had any concept at all of right and wrong.

Of course as the story goes they got caught and thrown out of the Garden. This is After God went looking for them and they were hiding behind a tree or something. Personaly I’m not sure “Hiding” is what those two frisky little nudists were up to back there, but thats neither here nor there.

So what to take from this? If God truly is both Omniscient and Omnipotent he must have knew Slippery Sam would come into the garden with the intent to make some trouble and did nothing to stop him. He also knew Eve would eat the apple, possibly for dessert after finishing her magic mushrooms and scarfing down some cannabis salad, then share it with Adam. Obviously God intended for these events to occur or was perfectly fine letting it play out and then blaming the poor knuckleheads he was supposedly so protective of.

Too summarize:

a. Either Eve thought the whole things was just a harmless hallucination in the first place. She did seem to find it perfectly normal to be conversing with a snake, while nekkid and I’m not even going to describe the other possibilities that scenario brings to mind. If the whole thing isn’t “real” how could anyone be hurt by it right?

b. Or  Eve had every reason to trust ole Sammy, after all why would God have created him and put him in the Garden if he was’nt a nice guy? Ths from Eve’s prospective, Eden was the only world she knew and all things in it were provided by God as far as she knew.

c. As to the sharing of the apple, Eve may have been overwhelmed by the crashing waves of knowledge sweeping over her, causing her thinking processes, what there was of them anyway, to be disrupted and confused. This lead her to a rather innocent mistake.

c. Or, after receiving understanding of Good and Evil, Right and Wrong she decided to push her limits. Remember, Adam and Eve had the mentality of 4 year olds at Best. No education, very little life experience other than eating, sleeping and crapping in the woods like bears and God seemed to pretty much just leave them to wander about without any real direction or guidence. Do you throw a 4 year old out of the house for sneaking into the cookie jar after you told them Not to?

If I seem to be cutting down Eve for lack of intelligence I’m not meaning to, nor is it any reflection on Women in general. She was created and left for the most part to her own devices, any lack of intelligence was God’s fault for not giving it to her or providing a means of Gaining knowledge, other than the apple that is.

As to Adam, why did he accept the apple? He’s a guy and not a very bright one, with the emotional capacity of a stale pop-tart. Suddenly a pair of nekkid, talking breasts says “Wanna Bite?”

When is the last time you saw a heterosexual man say “No” to a nekkid woman? Not to mention she was the Only woman around and being the first, I would imagine God put some effort into getting her as “perfect” as possible. Not like it was the first time a guy didn’t something stupid to impress a girl .. oh wait ..it was.

The lesson here is simple, just STOP blaming Eve, she was set-up and took an unjust fall and if you want to play the blame game, then blame Adam for dooming the world to millions of years of war, violence, intolerance and every level of stupidity jus because Eve had a nice rack.

I suppose I sound like I’m blaming God for something but I’m not. I do blame the arrogant men through history that have twisted and warped a beautiful Religion into a propaganda machine and social control mechanism however.

Also, all reference to “God” in this post are to the “Christian” mythology of God found within the so-called “Holy Bible”

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About William

Just a Blogger with too much time to kill. Ranting and Raving about whatever is on my mind when I sit down to type. Politics, Religion, Social issues even Personal crap..errr ...Revelations at times.

5 responses to “Eve was Framed”

  1. fringewalk says :

    You should read a book called ‘I, Lucifer’ by a chap called Glenn Duncan. I reckon you’d love it, from this post!

  2. Tafacory says :

    Very nice mixture of sarcasm and logic. Refreshing.

Werdz Go Heer

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