I feel a little better now
Bad, BAD day and it’s affecting everything. My writing, how I talk to people, hell even my roomates Dog keeps looking at me like I’ve lost my mind. I’m a little better now though. I think….
I’m dealing, or more Trying to deal with some rather heavy personal issues. Things in my life I cannot control or even influence to any real effect. Some are depressing some are outright painful.
Some days it just builds to the point that I’m ready to explode. Those day’s I try to avoid human contact until it passes and grit my teeth and bear it when I can’t. Some days I’m perfectly fine, ready for anything the world has in store for me. There are also days like today, when the pressure builds and starts coming out without me even realizing it.
These are the days I hate most.
No peace and calm yet no tears and anguish. No letting it slide over me and be left behind but also no pounding at the invisible walls holding me back.
Somethings “off” I can tell, it nags at me all day, yet at the same time it seems perfectly normal to have someone have to stop me from chasing the paper boy down the street wacking him over the head with the newspaper that Always end up in the damned bushes.
I HATE these days.
I’m a walking passive-aggressive nightmare on days like this and don’t even know what I’m doing till someone points it out.
My last therapist told me I have intimacy issues and that’s what causes it. Well, the name on the door said Doctor anyway. She called it therapy sessions but I don’t think therapy usually involves candle light and lingerie. I kind of miss therapy now that I think about it.
No idea why I am carrying on in such a way here . It really isn’t like me at all, I keep these thoughts mostly to myself usually. Occasionally I let something out though. I guess this is one of those times
No this is not a seeking sympathy thing either, and anyone that thinks that can kiss my ass and buy me flowers when their done.
About WilliamJust a Blogger with too much time to kill. Ranting and Raving about whatever is on my mind when I sit down to type. Politics, Religion, Social issues even Personal crap..errr ...Revelations at times.
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