I’m thinking about Suicide
Everytime I say those words someone either freaks out and starts giving me self-help lectures or starts making a mental list of my few worldy possesions. I’m not sure which bother’s me more.
I was having a converstation on the subject which is why I’m thinking about it. I’m not sitting here with a bottle of pills typing out a Farewell Opus, I’m just pondering the subject.
People say it’s the “Cowards way out” and some believe it’s always just a cry for attention. Many even consider it a “Sin” . How many really know what the Hell their talking about?
Really, how many with their cliches and admonishments have even Really tried it? Of those that have, Why did They try it and who are they to Judge someone elses circumstances?
Maybe it was a cry for attention or maybe life just really REALLY sucked at the time. Or a 1,001 other reasons for wanting to take the next bus out of this world.
I know I have had My reasons, some stupid and some I keep to myself because anyone lecturing on the more Serious issues would get my boot up their ass before they can finish the first sentence and I prefer to be non-violent. Most of the time anyway.
Yes, sometimes it’s just “attention whoring” yet sometimes it’s a cry for help when nobody seems to hear them any other way.
Sometimes a persons life just gets so bad they feel they just can’t take it anymore and sometimes it’s so bad they really Can’t take anymore.
Maybe their in pain, physically or emotionally and their reaching their limit and Death is the only release they can think of. When your in that state of mind, getting Religion or making an appointment with a shrink can be almost comical thoughts.
There are as many reasons to want to die as there are reasons to Not want to die. Who are we to Judge it on some arbitrary scale of right and wrong. Are You psychic, can you look into the minds and hearts of those who say they want to die? Can you truly tell the ones who are just “looking for attention” and the ones who’s souls are screaming? I sure as hell can’t and if I could I would never sleep again I’m sure.
There are times when you can tell, sometimes it’s just obvious by the way they act at other times. The problem though, is that you have to be pretty good at not just Observing but also being able to see things without prejudice or bias to the situation or person being observed. Many like to Think they can do that but most that I hear brag about it are talking out of their asses.
My favorite is when people lecture in an angry tone about how Wrong it is to kill yourself and what a “coward” someone is for it. These people in many Many cases have so much denial built up inside I’m surprised their heads don’t explode.
I asked someone once, an ex-friend, who was lecturing his son for having OD’d on some pills, how many time’s HE had been sexualy molested. He looked at me like I just asked him what his bra size is.
I was something of a friend to his Son because he happened to know we shared certain experiences. He had found some things I had written once upon a time while helping me do some cleaning and we had a long talk.
We were going to talk to his Father about some things the day of the suicide attempt but Loving Caring Dad backed out for a football game, his son attempted suicide that night.
I was unfortunatly out of town at that time and my fone didn’t have reception where I was at and I had been assured before I left that he “wouldn’t do anythng stupid” before I got back that evening.
Noone knew that his molestor, who was in jail on something else had been released on a technicality and would suddenly show up at the bowling alley he hung out at causing everything to come down in a wave of emotion that swept him under.
Mr. Runner up for “Worst Dad of the Year” got quite angry when I explained things. He got angry at his Son for telling Me and not Him, especialy for not saying anything when it actually happened. One thing led to another and it got pretty messy pretty fast. I got three cracked ribs and Daddy Dearest got a transfusion at the hospital.
I forgot to mention, my young “Emo” friend was 11 years old.
Feel anyway you want about suicide but keep in mind that if you don’t KNOW whats going on don’t Judge others based on Your personal feelings of it. Their not asking You to kill Yourself.
There are people I have Judged as “looking for attention” and they were. I knew enuff about them and their lives and their reasons to make a fair assesment and time proved it correct. Not bragging that I am a great Judge of these things or that I am and always will be right.
Generally I don’t comment on my opinion unless I’m speaking with the person themself and trying to help them through something. Occasionally I offer my view if asked and sometimes when not but I always make sure whomever I’m speaking to knows I’m no expert and just giving an opinion.
The main point of all this is simple. The next time you hear someone say they want to kill themself, don’t just insult them. They might actually need some help.
About WilliamJust a Blogger with too much time to kill. Ranting and Raving about whatever is on my mind when I sit down to type. Politics, Religion, Social issues even Personal crap..errr ...Revelations at times.
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