Sometimes ya swing and miss, sometimes they catch ya coming across home plate

I met this girl once, sweet, charming, nice to talk to….

Ok…sorry…that’s like calling body shots off a stripper, afternoon tea.

I went to this party with a friend, saw this HOTT young thing that had every guy and half the girls in the room coming at her from every direction. I stayed back, I’m not into the shark frenzy approach to dating.

Through the night it was pretty obvious, she wasn’t interested in it either. Several slapped faces and a rather impressive punt between the goal posts settled them down. At some point she followed me out on the deck. Twenty minutes later everybody in the room hated me.

Eventualy things broke up, though we were a little too busy to notice at first. Once we did notice we went back to my place to “chat” It was a very Lively chat I might add.

Five years, quite a few ups and downs and two wonderful children later, we split up.

This next one I don’t have words for. Try describing the inside a tornadoe while on LSD, she was like That, and I never liked being dizzy so much in my Life.

I went out to the bars one night with a roomate. She was having a Bad day and so was I. I had just got back from a pub where I had a fight with an old friend over something idiotic. At some point we decided to go back where I had the fight and look for trouble. Boy, did I find too.

Not two minutes after I walk in the door a girl I once knew tacklehugz me. We hadn’t seen each other in years. We drank, we danced,we drank some more, we told crazy stories, we had a few drinks and she even got me singing Karaoke somehow , and did I mention we may have had a drink or two?.

Well anyway, ’round about closing time, or maybe an hour after closing, they finally told us to get the hell out. So we went back to my place to “chat” (recurring theme?)

Six years later, two step-children, one of which actually still speaks to me, a few death’s in the family and a madman at the switch on the roller coaster, we divorced.

This next girl, actually WAS a stripper.

I was sitting in my room, I rent a room at a house, I’m just messing around on the computer and hear something. I go take a look and there is this unbelievable little cutie standing there, shes about 5 foot 2, in Boots. Come to find out, she was moving in.

Two weeks later, we had’nt even said hello, just never happened to be in the same room at the same time. She did have to pass my door to get to the bathroom and yea, I was Soo checking her out when she did. She was seeing someone and a roomate besides, so I stuck with the occasional glance. There was something about her, other than an ass that could make a Saint cry, that had me hooked without a word.

After a few weeks a friend asked me out for a drink and we invited her along. We became fast friends, only both of us wanted more but she had a guy, until she didn’t. We chatted Often after that.

Year and a half and some very strange arguements later, shes out of my life. Our little girl is one of the most adorable rugrats you could ever meet by the way.

I’ve had many, and I mean way TOO many, relationships before after and between those. Some good, some bad, some I’m still waiting for my mind to catch up with itself on. In all, 99 % of my relationships started on the drop of a hat.

A few quite literally, I would “unwittingly drop or knock of the table” my beat up, old black leather cowboy hat in the path of pretty girls at the pub and when I retrieved it, I would apoligize for getting in their way and introduce myself. Cheesy I know but actually did work sometimes.

The other 1% were no better or worse than the lightning strike love affairs I’m accustomed to. All but one that is and she happens to be my oldest friend in the world now.

Some say I wouldn’t be alone, yet again, if I took my time more and found the “right one” Some say a lot of Other stupid things too, I try not to hold it against them. I’ve been down both roads and only the one slow one worked. Every other, well they don’t speak to me anymore than the kerosene and matches ones do.

Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not a whore, far from it to tell the truth. I think I’ve had maybe three or four one night stands and I’m almost 40. Very few of my relationships lasted under a month, even less a long weekend, most were six months minimum.

I can be rash, opinionated and jump out of the box naked impulsive at times. “You? Neverrrr”. No really, it does happen, I should see if it’s still on youtube.

Like anyone I sometimes make mistakes, by the barrel, I may lose it all, often, but sometimes, just sometimes there is a lasting reason for my choices.

Will I change? I doubt it. Should I change? Most likely. Will I ever find “The One” ? I’m pretty sure there was a clerical error on that one and she was born a lesbian by mistake.

For now, I’m going with my instincts as I always do with relationships, well at the start anyway. It’s down the line I ignore them and thats when the secondary explosions begin. It works for me, believe it or not, it’s just how life is for me. I don’t believe a single one of them would be with me today even if I spent months getting to know them first.

But I do believe, I would have missed all the good parts if someone else had caught their eye in the meantime.

Maybe I should switch teams, it’s a thought.

The hat dropping was just a hello thing by the way, I actualy Like flirting with a girl that I probably won’t be taking home that night. Some became friends, some lovers, some showed me their favorite drinking game.

You yell “heads up”! and throw a drink at the other persons face and they try to catch it with their mouth. Unfortunatly they sucked at it because they always forgot to yell “heads up” first.


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About William

Just a Blogger with too much time to kill. Ranting and Raving about whatever is on my mind when I sit down to type. Politics, Religion, Social issues even Personal crap..errr ...Revelations at times.

5 responses to “Sometimes ya swing and miss, sometimes they catch ya coming across home plate”

  1. Michael Hulshof-Schmidt says :

    Not sound like a typical Jewish Yenta, which I am, but I do happen to have a lovely female friend in her early 40’s that I could set you up with.

Werdz Go Heer

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