Do me a Favor
” Doing something because you Have to is an Obligation … Doing something because you Want to is a kindness ”
I’ve been thinking about that alot lately. I’ve been saying it for years but never really thought much about it before. It usualy just just comes out with a shrug. Just before handing the person I say it to the bill. I’m kidding, kidding, I make an offer of “take it out in trade” first. After they slap me, Then I hand them the bill.
People often do something, then start expecting something in return. Karma points, brownie points with God, returned favors, the key to the cuffs, the negatives. It’s understandable of course, noone wants to feel used and abused. (Err, ummm, well there are certain exceptions to that but I mean in a general sense).
The problem is in Always expecting something in return as if there’s some unspoken Contract in every action and deed. Whether it’s good fortune, a returned favor, God’s blessing, the hostages returned safely, etc…
There are times I do the same. If I know someone well enough to know that they are the type to take – take – take, then they get a couple of freebies and after that, I expect a return of some kind. If I don’t know someone then I’m just helping to be helping.
Maybe assist an old lady trying to get the groceries to her car, a guy in an alley loading a strangely body-shaped bundle wrapped in plastic into a van. Little things here and there, just present themselves and the last thing on my mind is “how’s this gonna balance on my Karmic Tally Sheet ?”
Friends and aquaintences are the same thing. I don’t expect anything from them beyond a little gratitude. A simple ‘genuine’ thanks and maybe keep me in there thoughts here and there is more than enough. If they start asking and asking all the time, I start to re-evaluate the situation. It could be their in a position that forces them to need help, which is fine and I’ll do what I can, I’ve been there.
Actually I live a half block up from the cornor of “Down” and ” Out” so their usualy within walking distance. Sometimes though, they are just taking advantage and it gets to be time to cut them off and maybe cut them out.
No matter what, I never really expect Life to pay me back. Whether God or Karma or whatever philosophy a person views the “law of return” under. If it’s a trade-off kind of favor I expect it from the one that owes me. If it’s a kindness for it’s own sake, it pays itself back in feeling like I did a good thing.
I also believe in “pay it forward”. If someone insists on paying me back but I don’t need anything from them, they can pay me just as well by extending a kindness to another in need. I hope at least, that when they do it’s not because they think they owe a “debt”, rather it’s because they see that doing a nice thing is just a nice thing to do and it doesn’t always require a “contract”.
I do sometimes feel a need to “return the favor” when not obliged to, but it’s just a way of showing my gratitude for an earlier kindness. I’m not good with words, I can never really express myself with them and they say “actions speak louder than words” so I try that sometimes.
Sometime I may carry on about when you just do and do for someone without their asking and they abuse it, knowingly or otherwise. Thats slightly different and a little too close to home at the moment so maybe later.
About WilliamJust a Blogger with too much time to kill. Ranting and Raving about whatever is on my mind when I sit down to type. Politics, Religion, Social issues even Personal crap..errr ...Revelations at times.
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