God … what are you doing to me here?

I was almost homeless recently. I can’t afford a place of my own and the room I was renting is going to the guy I was living withs new girlfriends kid. Would have been nice having more than a couple of weeks notice, but whatever.

I have no friends within 300 miles of here and most not even in this Country. My Mother knew someone who lives alone and he said I could stay here if I want, he could use the company. Not wanting to sound ungrateful or anything but I am in HELL.

I have a roof over my head which I thank God for, however thats about all I can say is a good thing. I sleep on a couch and my computer is in the kitchen, it’s a Very small place by the way, these things are minor annoyances that are fast becoming major problems for me. I’ll explain why.

My roomate is about as nosy as you can get. Constantly trying to look over my shoulder and often asks my business. By often, I mean every 5 minutes sometimes. Realy I timed it more than once. I’ve Tried to talk to him about it but there are two little problems there, both share a cause.

Years of drug and alchohol abuse in his earlier days has done severe damage to his brain. He’s mildly retarded and has the memory capacity of an exceptionaly intelligent Gold-Fish. I’m not cutting him down here, that was his Doctors description when I went with him for an appointment.

You ever have someone ask you over 500 times in one day “what ya doin? what ya lookin at? who ya talkin too? why is that migdet wearing a saddle?”

That apointment by the way, was for his medicine, which he takes so he won’t Kill anyone. Seriously, anti-psychotics to make the voices shut up, the voices that tell him to do things, Bad things.

He’s also into sports, not so bad except I hate sports and don’t want to hear his running commentaries shouted into the kitchen of whatever game or wrestling match or race is on at the time.

Oh, and video games, he Loves video games. If I’m home and not cleaning or something I’m in the kitchen at my computer, either blogging, job hunting or catching up with friends, often all at once and do Not give two damns about some game whether video, sports or a sports video game.

I’ve tried feigning interest but it gives me a migraine and I can’t keep that up every minute of everyday I’m here. It’s constant like the nosiness, I have no idea how he manages to catch his breathe.

There are some other fun facts too.

He’s a bigot. Gays and blacks mostly. He doesnt see it of course, he thinks its normal and not a sign of prejudice. I wish that could be blamed on the brain damage but we all know there are plenty of fully functional bigots running loose that think it’s “normal” too.

He doesnt rant about it or say things to strangers but he does let things come out at home that make me want to Scream. Preferably while beating his head in with that damned playstation console.

I’ve tried educating him and pointing out that my views are nowhere Near his but that only caused him to stop out and out Ranting about “niggers” and “fags”. He still finds chances to slip a comment in here and there.

He’s a nice guy mostly and my Mother had no idea about his being that way and unfortunatly thinks I “exaggerate” because I’m uncomfortable here and just need to get adjusted to the place. I love my Mother and God bless her, but I wanna head-slap her sometimes.

Religion is a fun one too. He’s a lapsed Catholic with some very strange ideas. I won’t bother with detail but whoever was in charge of his brainwashing, err..indoctrination into the Catholic Faith, must have been eating peyote when they read the Bible.

I don’t know WHAT the hell he’s talking about half the time. I research his quotes and comments and often come up blank. I avoid it when I can but after the 30th time in 4 hours askin what I’m doin while I’m reading the bible it’s hard to just shrug and say “oh nuthin, jus bored”

At least he’s not a Republican, then I would KNOW God hates me!

This is just my Home life.

My kids, my ex’s, the harrasment from local Police, the constant pain, the nightmares, the frequent insomnia Caused by the nightmares and the wierd guy that’s stalking me are all bitchfests deserving of their Own Blogs!

Had to come here and vent, this Blog is my outlet.

Don’t like it don’t read it.

Want to insult me for it, your opinion will be thoroughly considered and if found to be fucktarded it will be filed at earliest convenience in the “I dont give a shit” bin.





About William

Just a Blogger with too much time to kill. Ranting and Raving about whatever is on my mind when I sit down to type. Politics, Religion, Social issues even Personal crap..errr ...Revelations at times.

6 responses to “God … what are you doing to me here?”

  1. suzzymilkmaid says :

    Hey William The reason you are being tortured so much is because God loves you a whole lot. Look what he did to Christ. Anyways I had to smile while reading this, I know it’s not the greatest reaction to your situation but at one point in my life I walked down the road with everything I owned in a backpack and never came back to avoid living like you are now. And I found God by following His laughter. Good luck dude there is nowhere to go but up from where you are now.

    • William says :

      It could go further down .. lol

      God gave me a place to stay, I just tease about giving me hard time with it. I figure the circumstances are to teach me something. Likely patience and tolerance, maybe humility too.

      God laughs all the time at me over it, not to be mean, just a “Told you so” kinda thing because of my Ego causing so many mistakes in my life.

      Thank you for the kindness btw. Much appreciated

  2. fringewalk says :

    😦 Reading that made me laugh, and also go ‘grrrrr!’
    I live in my friends lounge for a few months a few years ago when i found myself homeless, and it was very hard not having my own personal space, and i love the guy i was staying with. So really appreciate how hard this is for you, and i don’t think you’re unappreciative. You just need your privicy, and that’s perfectly reasonable, so don’t feel bad for feeling so frustrated.I think that’s a normal reaction.
    Try to remember this is not forever 🙂

    • William says :

      I’ve actually had Worse roommates than this one ..lol .. and been on the street awhile before. Could be worse.

      Just get’s to be a bit much at times and have to let it out.

      And thanks, you always do remind me to keep it together and wait for something better to happen.

  3. fringewalk says :

    ps why was that midget wearing a saddle?!

Werdz Go Heer

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